A Note to Close the Year of 2021

2021 is surely not 365 days. If it is, then time definitely flies!

Here I am again writing some notes by the end of the year that maybe relate or not to anyone who reads this.

I suppose life is meant to be the ups and downs while I totally hate the low ones. If 2021 has taught me anything, it is being flexible is needed. When the world started to be unpredictable by the end of 2019 or early 2020 here in my damn country, we sort of got used to it during 2021. The second wave, layoffs, a put-off wedding or study plan, and so on. Those are things we can’t control.

Big things happened to me personally in 2021 yet I am still learning to live with those. If people say we can leave 2021 behind and open the new page for 2022, I actually think the other way around.

Quoting John Gorman, a guy whose writing I read on Medium,

“Life is data. We all capture it — whether we try to or not. It’s in all that we say, feel, touch, eat, experience, witness, strive for, succeed at, see, sense, and create.”

My database of life is filled with things I’ve never expected which sometimes are too overwhelming. Why? Because those didn’t lead me to the predictable paths which by the way I wasn’t ready for instead it led me to the place where vision is blurred and goals were pointless. My dreams that I was willing to achieve were killed resulting in me questioning my existence. I am frightened that my goals taken away which I had been using as the fuel to keep me moving. I wanted my life to have direction and it’s gone now. Then, what?

Having resolutions for the new year might sound BS because how many of us ended up really doing it? Then I prefer to label it as one thing I aspire to dig more “the flexibility”. For any circumstances, it must be nice to bend without breaking. To adjust changes without some sort of drama instead of the necessary acts.

I’ve heard stories of people and I am honored for anyone to share their burdens with me for the past year. To not just know but able to see some people’s health and mental journeys. I learned a lot, sounds cliché, eh? Pardon me quoting that guy again,

“And the metadata (thought about thought) feels yet incomplete, because what we really need is a way to meta-feel. Something even beyond empathy, should such a lofty ideal exist anywhere in even our most optimal capabilities. That — and perhaps only that — will distill ourselves to our purest, most collaborative and cooperative essence.”

It feels nice to be relatable. Feels nice to have a sense of belonging. If I may be honest here, sometimes it drains me out. When you mourn, I can mourn with you in my silence. That’s me: an empath.

Stepping through the new year, let’s just embrace the uncertainty, the ability to be flexible, the vulnerability to share with whom you have common ground. Happy new year, happy new uncertainty!